Hating winter...and it's fall

Well, let's see. I am completely discouraged and in desperate need of a kick in the ass and a pep talk. My old friend Heather used to be really good at providing me with the right shoe in the ass to get me motivated and she's not around anymore. I can't seem to get myself up and moving in the mornings anymore because I haven't been sleeping well and I'm too tired at the end of the day to get to the gym as much as I want to. I miss my ex and I think that's why I haven't been sleeping. I felt like I was a better person when I was with her. I felt like I had a better purpose. I finally felt grown up and had some responsibility. It was very nice. I felt like a father and a husband a lot and it felt so great. I need to get something else going. I bought a new guitar on Friday and am going to start getting serious about learning guitar. I need to start getting into a gym regimen now that the weather has turned to shit. Going to the gym feels totally weird now after busting my ass outside for the last couple of months. This should be easy and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Gastric bypass surgery is looking like an easy out, but I don't know if I want to do that. I'm still on the slate for it as soon as I get approved. I don't know. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I would love nothing more than to defeat this crippling condition like an H bomb, though. Tomorrow is a new day and I plan on doing some soul searching tonight before I go to bed. Bears just beat Philly and Michael Vick just spent most of the game on his face, so I'm happy. Sorry to rant again...I'll cheer up soon. Writing and getting it out makes me feel better for sure. Hope you all are doing well. Get some sleep. We'll catch you on the flipside.