Tired

This week has taken its toll on me and I kind of had a breakdown on the way home from work. I had to pull over and take a deep breath and just calm myself down. Everything seems to be going wrong at work and I feel like maybe I'm not the right guy for the job. I find myself second guessing my abilities and worry that I'll see the day where I'm pulled aside and asked to give up passwords and let someone else do my job. It's hard. I know it's extremely unlikely, but I really feel like anything can happen lately and I'm worried. I've been riding my bicycle every morning. It's very very difficult getting up at 4:30am and riding 10-15 miles. My knees are sore, my arms hurt, my butt hurts, my back hurts... Laying down does feel good though. I'm just sooo exhausted! This might be the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so tired. Just tired. It'll be a while before I'm used to it, but for right now, my body hates me. Well, I'm going to bed to catch up. Catch you all on the flipside.

Revitalized

This week has been changing for me. Ever have someone out there that just makes you work hard...I mean harder than you ever would at any other point in your life? I think I've met that person. There's just something about this person that makes me want to try to improve myself more than I ever have in my life. I believe this person was put in my life to show me something that I don't see in myself. They are tough because they care and could be considered one of my best friends at the same time. Something about this person just screams "I care about you" when the pep talks happen. I've never had anyone like that. I mean, all my friends encourage me to better myself and lose weight, but there is something about this one. You know how I know they really mean the world to me? I'm scared to let this person down. It completely scares me to let this person down. I rode my bike 6 miles this morning and another 5.5 after work...I can see that it's making a difference already and I feel good. I mean, I'm sore as hell tonight, but at least I feel like I'm doing something good with myself. I'm sure if this person reads this, they will know who they are and if they get it, they'll know that I appreciate the friendship, the love, the motivation, the pep talks, tough love and the laughs. If you're reading, thank you for being my friend and believing in me. I feel refreshed, revitalized, renewed, and I feel the pride in myself again. I just need to find a way to reciprocate! Some day, I will find a way to make it all come back to you, I promise. :) You know who you are...Goodnight, friends. Catch you on the flipside.