Day Fifty Two

Today was pretty rough again. My back feels better than it did yesterday, but just about every hour, I would have these horrible spasms and my back would totally tense up and just send pain thru my whole body. It was bad. I was on my feel a lot today trying to stretch out because the more I sat in that stupid office chair, the worse the pain got. I ended up staying the whole day, but I was dying to go home around noon. I managed to get a lot done, but the fact that I'm still in pain and not able to workout is really bothering me. I'm so upset that I can't keep the momentum up that I had going this week...I was on a total roll! I have a great support system at work. Everyone is rooting me on. Even Al came up to me this morning and asked why he hasn't seen me riding my bike this week. Man, I wish I was! I really do. Maybe Friday I can start riding again...I have a feeling tomorrow will be bad again, because laying in bed is just not working either right now. I'm still having some bad spasms every now and then. I took some ibuprofen and I'm waiting for that to kick in. I know I should take it slow, but damn it, I want to lose more weight. Now that I've had a taste of it, I can't help but feel like I'm not losing it fast enough. I know that's not a healthy situation to be in I guess, but it's how I feel. There is so much I want to do...I feel like it's Christmas week and the week is going SOOOO SLLLLLOOOOWWWW. I'm kind of hating my drives to and from work. Too lonely. I just have all this time to think about this journey and how I feel like I'm going to be alone until I get in shape. I hate that I feel like that. I really do. So, I turn on the radio and listen to sports talk...yikes! I just wanna make someone really happy and I guess I'll get that chance someday, but man...it sucks to wait! I don't even have prospects! So sad...:) Well, I'm going to put my mask on and hit the sack. Goodnight, friends...catch you on the flipside.